"Praying means being constantly ready to let go of your certainty and to move on further than where you now are. It demands that you take to the road again and again, leaving your house and looking forward to a new land for yourself and your fellow man. This is why praying demands poverty, that is, the readiness to live a life in which you have nothing to lose so that you always begin afresh. Whenever you willingly choose this poverty you make yourself vulnerable, but you also become free to see the world and to let the world be seen in its true form."
- from Henri Nouwen "Journey of the Heart - Lenten Prayer Reflections"
Easier said than done, right? I feel I live pretty simply, but quite honestly there are a number of things I would have a hard time letting go of. And also, in thinking forward to next year (which is still uncertain as to where I will be and what exactly I will be doing), this poverty that God demands (and I don't mean demand in its negative connotation) of us scares me. It will mean (more than likely) picking up and leaving and starting over (again). I'd wager that for us who are creatures of habit and accept change somewhat unwillingly at times, this idea of picking up and leaving constantly is a little uncomfortable. Correct me if I'm wrong...
Accepting this notion is hard because I could choose to stay where I am in a place where I am known and, for the most part, loved and respected (I love my school!). But in discerning my options and reflecting on different spiritual readings and quotes that I have come across, I realize that should I choose to stay at my school it needs to be for a purpose and not just because it's the easy way out.
Parents of students keep asking me if I will be coming back next year, to which I reply, "Pray for me." And then I joke with them that they not pray for me to stay but rather for me to go where God is calling me to be.
And that is my prayer for you today as well - that you come to know in your heart where God is calling you to be and that you have the courage to follow His call.
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